Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Duit Hari Raya
''Am I in shape?' Of course I'm in shape! Isn't round a shape?'
.....
If you actually read my post titles, unlike me myself, then just ignore it. This post has nothing to do with duit hari raya. I'm a very busy person, so I have other things on my mind too, you see. So.
The day passed without incident. After watching my daily breakfast of Sesame Street (down with Barney!), I was lying down on the sofa somewhat sleepily when the doorbell rang... Well actually, no. The door was opened and my aunt outside hollered "Assalamualaikum!", but I've always wanted to say 'the doorbell rang' because my house doesn't have a doorbell, so the doorbell is as intriguing as a mystical beast to me. Anyway.
Baba had told me that I were to give an envelope of something, probably money (the envelope was like the ones for hari raya money - my title, see?) to my aunt when she came. I didn't know if my elder boy cousins were there outside with her or not, so I sent Mona to quickly hand the envelope to her. Then Baba came out of his room and had friendly talk with her with the door in between them. Figuring that it was safe enough to be in her view, I trotted over to the kitchen. And when she saw me, I realised how wrong I was in saying 'safe enough to be in her view'. My walking seemed to have caused an immeadiate, shocking reaction.
Aunt: DIYANAH DAH GEMOOKK!!!!
Me: *thinking* EXCUSE me???
Baba: Bukan Aba yang cakap eh, die yang cakap!
I was hiding behind a curtain in the kitchen hallway at that time, and pretended that I hadn't her her yelling. You know, to lessen the embarassment. "I didn't hear what she said, sorry," I replied, but my aunt was very helpful.
Aunt: DIYANAH DAH GEMOOK LAHHH!!!
Me: *slaps forehead*
Which brings us to a flashback. Let me bring you to the great period of time past known as 'Back Then'!
Sorry. That was terribly lame.
.....
Back Then, I had already realised, of course, that I was getting a bit... hmm... bigger. I never really thought of myself as fat, just not slim. Besides, even if people hinted, it usually just bounced off me.
But then, thanks to my very very sensitive cousin, it got too much. Like I said, he's a really really sensitive guy in these kinda matters, so he naturally got straight to the point (you know, said I was fat). it was time too many; I couldn't stand it and kinda broke down. Not one of the best moments of my life. Later on, after I was done with my little tiny eensy weensy breakdown, I felt terribly stupid. I mean, to cry just because people say that I'm plump! And, sure, I'm not as beautiful as my other sisters, but I was absolutely horrified at myself! That wasn't who I am, to be crying over how I look! The shame of it all!
So I gave myself a mental slap on each (plump) cheek, got a grip, and moved on.
.....
My cousin is still as insensitive now as he ever was, but I just tell him to shut up. In a very nice, polite, yet sarcastic kinda way. But back to the story.
After my aunt had said that and continued chatting, I resumed my daily activites. My mind was no longer sleepy, but was instead fresh with thoughts and wonderings. I was going to get a bath anyway, so when I went into the toilet with all my necessities, I looked at my whole self in the mirror. Then I grinned, because I was really happy to not feel 'Oh my Allah she's right, I'm fat, and my blubber is drooping right down to the floor!'. In fact, I really felt content, and I'm proud to say that I didn't care about what she said anymore. I love lipids, and lipids love me.
Deenana at 2:27 PM
DeeJay
If You Could, You Would
by Me.
If you could, you'd take my hand,
And fly me to the moon.
If you could, you'd blow from your palm
The lightest stones of blue.
If you could, you'd beckon winds
So we could fly on wings of dreams.
If you could, you'd sing to me
The rushing laughter of streams.
But you would spend an hour with me,
And you would share a joke with me,
And you would shoulder a burden with me,
As we journey down the road.
The times we laughed,
The times we cried,
The moments we smiled,
The moments we sighed,
Are shining as brightly as spring.
.....
Alright, so it's cliched and lame. But Kak Han would say: DON'T DISS CLICHES!, and since this is poem was written from the bottom of my heart, so I guess the bottom of my heart is a very lame place. Whatever lahh. That's not my point!My point is this. This month and the month past had been pretty difficult for me. I lost many friends, not in the sense that I am arguing with them, but rather the kind where you feel a drift growing in between. I also realised some other things, and thinking all that PLUS being away from all those 'friends' made me feel awful. Without a doubt, I was down, though not out. The worst part was that I was terribly, terribly lonely.But thanks to the following people who I am going to name, I'm pretty sure that I can say that have 'healed', in a way. Really, I wanna apologise for being such a sod-dotted, soaking wet blanket last time. So. I give my apologies, my thanks, and my dedication of this post and poem to:My family, for simply being there when I return home from a hard day. To Mun, my patient half-sidekick, for putting up with an old hag like me.To Zahira, for caring and for being a great comfort.And lastly to Mas, for everything.I really owe you guys a lot.Deenana at 8:05 AM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Between You and Me and Them
No, I am not going to talk about what I have learnt today (nothing really happened today to learn from, not yet anyway). But I'm here to post a notice, or an announcement, whichever you prefer.You see, in the beginning, this blog was a very private one. Only my family members and two of my most trusted friends knew about this blog, and only they read it. However, due to recent events of which I do not know of, word has gotten out that I have this second blog accompanying my first one. And in the past few days, I fear people have read this blog, people of whom I have not given permission to enter, let alone read.I do not know how word got out, and I will find out. However, if you are not one of my family members, and if you are not one of those two friends whom I gave permission to enter via MSN (you know who you are), then I hope that you will cease or refrain from entering this blog again after today. I understand if you are offended by what I said, and I'm really sorry if you do feel that way, but this blog used to be a sanctuary for me. It was a place where I could safely express my thoughts or whatever I wanted to all those people I trusted, without worrying about whether they would tell other people or not. Please respect my privacy. Thank you very much.(I'd like to express my gratitude to Seri as well, for taking down the link to this blog that she previously put up in hers. My thanks.)Deenana at 1:33 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Aximilli
The Sentence By Anna Akhmatova And the stone word fell On my still-living breast. Never mind, I was ready. I will manage somehow. Today I have so much to do: I must kill memory once and for all, I must turn my soul to stone, I must learn to live again— Unless . . . Summer's ardent rustling Is like a festival outside my window. For a long time I've foreseen this Brilliant day, deserted house. ..... Yes, I admit it. After getting my report book, I cried, ok? I mean, I couldn't help it! I was dissappointed! It was terribly embarassing, of course. Abeh nak buat ape seh? The result was fine, fine. I mean, I didn't exactly improve, but somehow I don't feel too bad about it. I guess it's because I went down by only 0.2% or something. Horrible Maths result. Hmm. During the holidays, I'm going to get an hour and a half's worth of playing the computer. That's half an hour earlier than usual being granted to me because I took up a dare by Aba. But when the holidays and happy days are over, I only get half an hour's worth, but I'm not complaining. I deserve it. The rest of the details (how I feel, bla bla bla) can be guessed pretty easily by reading the poem and this short post. In fact, if you understood the poem and noticed the date, then you wouldn't need to read this entry to understand what's going on. But I'm writing this to let go of my steam a little. Self-pleasure, if you will. This is my blog, and this is my head I'm writing out, after all. Deenana at 7:36 PM
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Idyllic Fields
I can't really think of a lesson that I learnt today. There's only so much phrases that you can use for your whole lifetime (or at least, for as long as I have this). Although, I did think of the quote ..... 90% of everything is crap. ..... Sturgeon's Law. I wonder if that's true. I mean, surely not everything is crappy. Maybe only 90% of everything is mostly crappy. So it should be like, '90% of 90% of everything is crap'. I'm sorry. That was a terrible joke. Btw, I am really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really worried about this coming Friday, and just to let you know, I didn't copy paste that, which should tell you how worried I am. Ok, so all that 'really' is exxagerating things. Just saying "I am worried" should tell you how worried I really am, if you know me well enough, because I rarely worry. But hey, ..... There's a first time for everything. ..... Well well, what do you know? I did find a quote for today.Deenana at 3:24 PM
Monday, May 22, 2006
Zest
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too......I'm losing all my close friends one by one. Pretty soon I won't find anyone I can trust. How sad. But what can I do? I'll learn, and I'll live.Got most of our exam papers today. I was crushed. Considering the past few days, the results seemed to be good, and I thought I would improve. No such luck. I'm dreading this Friday when our report books would be taken and inspected by our parents. Sometimes, when the day comes for us to take our report books and give it to our parents to see, I feel as if I'm preparing myself for the war. You know, for the worst. But there's nothing I can do now but to brave the storm and walk right into it.I always dread the results because they always make me feel like I want to cry. In the good golden days, I used to get top 3 all the time. Of course, primary school was easy, but you get my point. These days, though, I only manage to get top 10, and even then hardly. I fear that I would get lower than that this year. I know what is expected of me, but of course, I don't live up to it. Sad, isn't it? I think it's because I never found the will to try, or the will to care, if such a sentence exists. I feel that the thing that I need the most is for someone to sit beside me and to help me revise everything. But I don't ask for help because, well, it's embarassing. It's not only because I might seem stupid (what hurts worst is when you ask a question and they go, "You don't know???"). But it's also because my dad and my mum are always tired by the end of the day, and Kak Han is having her school, so there isn't really anyone I can turn to who can spend their time just helping me study. Besides, I'm 14 already, aren't I? I should know how to study for myself. I guess the sad truth is that I need someone to help me care. Is that even possible?It's strange. People (classmates, mostly) always think that I get great marks for my examinations, which makes me think Shows how much you know, hey buddy ol' pal? Of course, in a way it can be nice. People think you're smart, right?But I'm not as smart as they think. (I'm not going to the camp, btw. I don't deserve it.)And like I said, I'm losing my friends one by one. These days, I'm getting sadder, but I also feel as if I'm learning a lot. Well, maybe not a lot. Just a little, but it sure is better than nothing. And the strangest part is, despite the fact that I'm losing my friends and that I'm doing absolutely horribly for my exams, it makes me smile to know that at least I'm gaining a little bit of wisdom. Isn't that nice?Deenana at 3:30 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Where For Art Thou?
Love all,Trust few,Do wrong to none......That quote, or phrase, or whatever you wish to call it, is from the great Shakspeare, whose books are pretty difficult to understand. Luckily for me, though, this phrase is sweet and easy to understand.This post is short. I have learnt that the first line (love all) and the last line (do wrong to none) are very difficult to do. But the second line (trust few) is easy. Simply put, I have learnt today that I can trust only a few people, and even then not fully, because nothing has happened to them yet to prove that I can trust them. I believe that trust is something that you have to earn. There is a poem which goes 'Don't count your friends by their buttons/until you have seen them pushed a few times'.Deenana at 10:46 AM
Friday, May 19, 2006
Basketcase
'If you don't like the way other people are doing it, then do the job yourself'.....A thousand and one apologies, but I really can't remember the exact way that phrase goes. It's something like that, but much nicer and probably much shorter. Either way, I'm sure you catch the meaning.When you hear other people whining about how horrible someone does a certain task, or how they wish that the other person would do a better job, it tends to get on your nerves. It makes you think, If you're so good, then go and do the job yourself!. Or at least, that's they way I think. Not to say that I've never been that way before. Admittedly, we all have those moments which we are not proud of. But let bygones be bygones. We're supposed to talk about what I learned today.The reason I picked this quote was because I heard someone complaining about how the other person was doing badly in whatever task that was supposed to be done, and even said 'I would have done better if I had been the one to do it'. This made me frown because frankly, it's annoying. If you're so good at it, I thought, then do it. At this point this phrase (yes, the wrong version) floated in my mind, and as the rest of the day resumed I had already decided on what I would pick for today's post.But later on I learnt that there might be more to the phrase then I previously thought.The phrase doesn't necessarily apply to those who think I would have done better. It basically applies to people who complain or whine about other people.I got into a horrible mood this morning at school. Not the 'I'm a storm, fear me, get out of my way' kinda bad mood, but the 'I'm bored, and I'm droopy' kinda mood. Well, it couldn't be helped. I was bored, and I was droopy (in a way), so I spent the whole day just wandering around, and even though it didn't exactly make things worse, it sure didn't make anything better. A few friends tried approaching me and revive me, but my heart was set. I refused to feel better, and just moped around the whole day. I think that, in the end, even the closest of my friends got bored with me. It's really obvious why; who would wanna hang around with a ghost who just wanders around in class and doesn't get involved in anything? I must have had this aura about me that just repels people, animals, or dust; everybody just stayed away. Even my library book could offer no comfort amidst the 'THIS IS THE GAME OF CONCENTRATION, CLAP CLAP". Basically, it stunk.Amazingly, I spent the whole day of about 4 hours just having this huge black cloud hanging over me. Just thinking about it now makes me wanna kick myself. I think the Cheerful Dee would have looked at me and go"Tsk tsk tsk", wagging fingers and all.Realising that nothing worked, I looked around the two classrooms. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I wanted to something right now. I didn't want to play the games, nor did I sleep, so I chose the best option there was; join a talking circle.Nadhirah was there, with Su Syak Basirah and Mas. They were all sitting in a circle telling ghost stories, and though I don't normally enjoy listening to those kind of tales (I am not afraid!), I couldn't be bothered to care. Anything was good enough. I grabbed a chair, dragged it to them, and announced, "I'm sitting here, ok?" Luckily they didn't have any problem with that and invited me in a friendly manner, and so I sat. I just listened to their talkings, and I figured it wasn't all that bad. Then they started talking about dreams, and I started joining in their talking. Then they made hilarious fart noises, and we all laughed. It was amazingly great fun.The final hour spent with them passed quickly, and by the time class was over I was surprised to find myself sorry that we had to end our little games. We promised to talk again on Monday, and that made me glad.Going home with Loi, I realised that, even though I was annoyed with the person who had complained, I had been just like her all along. I didn't exactly whine, but in a way I did complain to myself about how I wished I wasn't at school. Really, all it took was just sitting with some people and talking. I think that I had unconciously expected people to ask me to join them (which they did not. how dissappointing), and that was what ruined my day. If I had just did something by my own will in the first place, I would have had some fun a long time ago, and instead of a black cloud hanging over my head, I would have had Sirius (brightest star in the sky. sun's too bright for me). I learnt last time that getting up after falling was hard, and today I learnt it the hard way in a small lesson at school. Next time you feel bored, or sad, or down, don't expect others to get you up. Get your butt up, get it back into this world, and start whistling.Deenana at 5:07 PM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Black, Blue, and Proud All Over
How Did You Die?By Edmund V. CookeDid you tackle that trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, trouble's a ton, or trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it.
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?
You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It's nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there - that's disgrace.
The harder you're thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn't the fact that you're licked that counts;
It's how did you fight and why?
And though you be done to death, what then?
If you battled the best you could;
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why, the critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
And whether he's slow or spry,
It isn't the fact that you're dead that counts,
But only, how did you die?
.....
Arr, 'tis be the longest poem posted here to date. Still, it doesn't matter. It's one of my favourite poems, though I haven't memorised it by heart. Yet.
Today we got an exam paper back, and I found for the second time a friend who had spiralled down to depression because she wasn't satisfied with her examination marks. Ok, so she didn't exactly spiral down to depression, but she was sad. Having some personal experience myself concerning dissappointments (sorta) I sat by her (after going to the toilet and serving my own needs first).
"Asal?" I asked, sitting down beside her. She was reading a library book with a notebook in front of her, and when I posed the question to her she sighed and put down her book. She explained about how horrible her marks were and how she felt, well, horrible about it. I looked around to see that she was sitting alone by herself, and asked her why.
"They're all so noisy," she said, waving her hand in an off-hand manner. I wondered if that was the real reason.
I asked Mas to talk to her and keep her company while I walked around to think. After a long time, and after Mas left for a while, I sat down by the friend again and looked at her.
"You know," I said carefully and slowly, "If you think that being alone is going to make you feel better, then you're really really wrong."
A raised eyebrow, "I am?"
"Yeah. When I used to be mad or sad over anything, I'd mope off on my own. I figured it would make things better, just sitting there and enjoying the silence. But I was wrong, because it made things a whole lot worse. I felt left out, and watching all the other people being happy and being around friends just made me feel worse."
There was silence. I didn't know if my advice was great (who am I to judge?), but she seemed to be waiting for me to continue, so I did.
"You should buy a flower in a pot of soil," I said quickly, to make it sound less ridiculous.
"Huh?"
"Whenever you hav any bad feelings, all you do is pick a petal and bury it in the soil. When you do that, you get to bury your bad feelings with the petal, and you get to see how ugly the flower becomes when you have bad feelings."
Mas was suddenly beside me, gasping, "Don't listen to her!!!"
"Why not?" I asked incredulosly.
"Because that's murder! Buy a fake flower!"
"Don't be ridiculous, the petal will grow back!"
We argued and argued until the friend stopped us by saying, "Ok ok I get your point!" But she was smiling, so at least it was a good sign. I talked a few more hopefully comforting words while Mas left. Then I got up too. I headed towards the other side of the classroom when I turned around again.
"I feel really hopeless. I know my words are just words and barely help-"
"They're not just words," she interrupted, and she smiled as she continued, "They mean a lot."
Thinking back on what I just said to her as 'advice', it sounded terribly lame, and I doubted whether it really did mean something to her. But she looked as if she was trying not to cry.
"Okay then." Hesitated, then said, "You know, it's okay to cry. It will make you feel a lot better, trust me." I waved and left.
The lesson that I have learnt today is that, though falling hurts terribly hard, we have to get up all the same. From my experience, getting up and smiling would take a long time to accomplish because it's not an easy task, but you've gotta at least try. Even I've got chips on my own shoulders right now, and they're weighing me down, but I'm a bird and sooner or later I've gotta fly. We all do.Deenana at 9:01 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The Unexpected
Don't count your chickens before they are hatched......Ahh, that phrase is one that I've heard so many times before that it has never occured to me that I would actually be using it here in my blog. But, since the phrase itself means 'not to expect things', what can I say?Today I learnt how sad it is when your expectations fall short of what you hoped for, because today, I counted my chickens waayy before they were hatched.When I woke up this morning, wondering what the day ahead was going to be like, I had this beautiful poem in my mind that I had once read. I even re-read it this morning because it seemed perfect with how I expected the day to be (uh-oh. I expected!). The poem is about how a man doesn't care what would happen tomorrow because he had livedtoday to the fullest (the line goes 'Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today'). I figured that I was bound to have a fabulous day (today's the last day of the examinations), but of course, it didn't happen. All I was doing was counting the chickens before they are hatched when the phrase specifically told me not to. That's obedience for you.I expected the day to go like this: Go to school, study, take exam. Then leave exam hall running slow-mo with a giant smile and with my tudung flying behind me, Bollywood-style. Next, chat with friends and laugh happily. Finally, leave school early, be at heaven in the library, borrow books, and go home resting blissfully. Turned out that I had counted too many eggs in my basket before they hatched, and didn't even bother to carry the basket properly.Leaving the examination hall was nothing special. There weren't any beams of heavenly light pointing at me, and I certainly wasn't skipping. It was a dissapointingly normal feeling. I wasn't excited at all, although Mee Bakso cheered me up some. I did not laugh happily with friends, though I did play games with them to celebrate our last day of studying (as for now). In fact, before that game, I felt sick at heart and wanted to go home. But I could not and did not leave school early like I wanted to because we had to meet up with Zah. After that, I just went home, and luckily the trip away from school was fun and fine (met up with some people).When I arrived home, the computer in my room couldn't play properly, and I got kinda snappy. Now the day is almost over, and I can't say that this has one of the best days that I've ever had. Hopefully the day would somehow turn out slightly better. Watch a lot of tv, maybe? After all, the night hasn't yet arrived. Although, I shouldn't expect too much. Wouldn't wanna drop anymore eggs from my basket now, would I? Enough eggs haven't hatched already as it is.But don't think that my day was horrible from start to finish. I did have a good time with a couple of people, and I did laugh today, and I did smile. I watched Spongebob, I watched CSI, and now I'll be watching Inuyasha. It wasn't too bad a day.And the library was lovely. Absolutely lovely.Deenana at 2:34 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006
It Looked Different Yet Exactly the Same
The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut......Today's 'life lesson' of sorts isn't much, since there wasn't much that could be mulled over. School has gotten terribly boring. I really really can't wait for the time when we finish our examination paper tomorrow.Wishes aside, time to talk about what I learnt today.Today a friend and I were talking about the things that we were looking forward to once the exams are over (me: BOOKS!!) when she mentioned how her father was scolding her lately for being less attentive to her studies and lazing around more."'Cos I don't study last Saturday," she chatted amiably, "I just went ahead and watched TV the whole day, and when I went to my Grandfather's house, I didn't bring my textbooks to study! So my grandfather kinda scolded me for that."I thought, I never study when I go to my grandparents' house, but just nodded as if I always did and continued listening."And you know," she continued, "I don't study the whole day during the weekends. I would just study for like, a couple of hours, then I would laze around the whole day. So my dad was like, "Hey! You better not be lacking!" She laughed.And I thought, Hold on. I study for only a couple of hours every day! And since I also obviously thought that that was funny as well (study for a few hours only? Hah! Funny!), I chuckled along.This friend whom I chatted with is always in the Top 5 positions during the exams (that's it, go ahead; start guessing who), and until today I always thought that she did study for only a few hours (ehem. like me) because she's already smart (ehem. not like me). But it's obvious from today that, no matter how much of a genius she is, she works very hard to be where she is today.Thus the phrase above. Indeed, she might be way smarter than me, but even so, she still has to work just as hard as I have to. And at this point one would usually say, "And since I have learnt that piece of wisdom today, I am going to study as hard as I can, so that I can be just as well off in school as she is". But of course, tomorrow is the last examination, so I probably realised this piece of wisdom a little too late. Oh well.Deenana at 10:05 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Big Yellow Taxi
'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.....Originally I wanted to put, 'You don't know what you have till it's gone', since both phrases basically mean the same thing, but I decided that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' sounds nicer.So anyway. Today was the Science exam, and one of the things that I do not like about the examinations (besides the studying and the results part, of course) is having to wait for the time to tick slowly by before you can leave the examination. So there I was, examination paper finished and having nothing to do but to correct all the grammatical errors in the questions, when I suddenly noticed that Teacher was reading a library book.Now, since the examinations began, I have been banished from going to the library, for very obvious reasons. Books distract me. Any book would, actually, unless its a textbook. So when I saw that new book, my first thought was "Awww. A book". My second thought was "Oh man! A book!". Seeing Teacher read it really really really made me miss proper, fun reading. Yet another reason added to my list of 'Things to Look Forward to After the Exams', right after no. 8) Freedom.
One more thing I missed. A pencil and an eraser; one of the most common things on Planet Earth. Yeah, I kinda missed them today. We were supposed to bring them up to the examination hall for the OAS sheet, but I forgot to, so that was when I missed them. Besides, they weren't there to help me pass the time by; I couldn't draw anything on the exam paper. Hmph.And the second last thing that I missed today was my handy dandy, always-with-me notebook. I knew that I was supposed to wait for Loi after school, and I knew I had this poem in my notebook that I'm finishing, btu I just didn't bring it. So all I could do was just sit down around and do nothing (though I ended up chatting with friends). I missed the notebook and regretted not bringing it with me.And the last thing I missed was my sense of familiarity when being around my friends. These days, there is just something, some feeling that makes me feel quite distant from them. Looking at each and everyone of them just now, I sadly realised that I didn't have much connections with them, not really. Sure, we're all close friends, and we've shared a lot of happy times we each other. But I also realised we weren't as close as sisters. We don't confide in each other, we don't share secrets, and we're nothing special. And thinking this, I just got sad. It occured to me that I never was very very very close to them. So I missed that sense of closeness that I used to have some time ago.Deenana at 10:20 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Birds and Mice
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese".....Ok, I really really don't mean to be rude, and I really really don't mean to point fingers at anybody, but since I am supposed to write about something that happened today that reminded me of a phrase or quote or poem, here goes everything.As usual, I arrived at school early (no, I'm not the bird in the quote), and when Zahira arrived we went up together to the attic. Every Thursday, we go up into the attic to clear everything up, arrange the tables, and sweep the floor. Of course, it's just not me and Eera. There are others on duty too. And this is where the problem comes in.Fifteen minutes into cleaning the two classrooms, only one other Green student came up. The rest hadn't yet arrived. I was kinda annoyed because not only were the classrooms hot and the kids left the classes yesterday in a horrible state, only three (mostly two) people actually went up to clean the classrooms and do their duty.And when they finally arrived, only two of them went up, and even then they only asked, "Did Zah come up and marah?" and "Eh, sape letak meja ni? Kite nak meja lain! Tolong kite tukarkan". There wasn't any Sorry we couldn't help! or Here, let me finish the sweeping for you. No, they just went up, looked at the classroom, talked, and went down again. That's gratitude for you.I don't mean to be whiny, and like I said, I don't want to accuse anybody or anything, but I can't help but feel annoyed. This is what reminded me of the phrase, except it's got nothing to do with the bird, but rather, the second mouse (or mice in this case). Me and Eera were the first mice (who got trapped in the mouse-trap), and then there were those who came and did nothing but just went up because they were supposed to (the second mice who got the cheese).And the third mice who didn't even come up in the first place? Don't even get me started on them.
Deenana at 12:50 PM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
OK
Everyday I will be introducing to you a poem, saying, sentence, or quote that has a meaning with what I have experienced, felt or done for the day. Yup, that is what this blog is all about.Not in Vain
By Emily Dickson If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain: If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain......Today a friend cried due to pressure after finishing an exam. I was surprised that she was crying, although I shouldn't have been because the paper was dee ey em an tough man. I just thought that I was the only one who thought that much. Shows how much I know, huh?So anyway, me Mun Mas and Loi was about to leave school when we saw her. So, being the brave heroic people that we were, we rushed to her side and to her rescue! We comforted her (or tried to anyway), and soon ended up just talking to ourselves, which worked. All we did was just talk and talk and talk all sorts of crappy things, but it worked. I guess it was because we were so funny that it made her smile. Or maybe it was because my presence was just too charming? (HAHAH goes you) Either way, we were just there beside her, pretending like nothing was wrong and that nothing was going on, and I think that was what really helped. Of course, the fact that we tore a piece of paper from Mun's notebook and wrote encouraging words to her helped some, too.When we were finally convinced that she was okay, she smiled (the best smile) and said "Thank you". Then Mun Mas Loi and I waved and left the building.I am really proud of what I did. Even though I may have just been irritating and not at all helpful, it makes me feel good to think that at least I helped to make her smile. Despite the many many times I make a fool of myself, or the many many times I cause others to be angry, or even the many many other times when I might think for a second that I am hopeless, it is nice to know that at the very least, I can make someone smile. And like the poem indicates, that has made my day, and has made all the difference in the world.Deenana at 3:30 PM